What if I asked myself What if?
Take a moment to think ‘What if asked myself What if?’ and start to think how you can make this your new reality. You do not need permission or acceptance from anyone else to follow your dreams. Not from your friends, family or work colleagues. How many times have you stopped yourself from doing something new because you were afraid of what others would think? What if you asked yourself What if?
Now is the time to shed those worries and follow your heart. Asking ‘What if?’ and following through on your goals is a whole lot better than living a life of regret and looking back and asking the same question. If you give it a go – you will learn the answer.
Learn from the past
What are the things you learned in childhood that have shaped the way you behave today? Stop for one moment and think about your actions and reactions, the things you value in life and the things you do and feel in response to situations you face. How many of these things are because of the way you were brought up?
The things you were taught as a child or the things you experienced in childhood that shaped your behaviour for evermore? How much do you want to change these behaviours if they are no longer serving you? What if I asked myself if I should do things differently?
Be proud. Its ok to celebrate your achievements
Be proud of your accomplishments. There is a difference in being proud of who you are and what you have achieved and being conceited. Many of us, especially women, have been taught to downplay our accomplishments or are made to feel guilty about them as they may not fit the role that we think others will accept.
There is no shame in being a career woman vs. dedicating all your time to your children as a stay at home mum. In the same context, you should never feel bad because you want to stay at home with your children rather than dedicate yourself to a full time career.
Often we have been taught that ‘no one likes over – achievers.’ At the same time we are taught to care more for others than for ourselves and soon, along with the poor self – worth that many of us carry around, we are never giving ourselves the credit we deserve. This often leads to us then not telling others of our successes and being able to bask in that moment of shining in the spotlight.
If we take the time to mention, “Hey I got a promotion.” Next time you catch up with your friends it provides you with the positive reinforcement to keep achieving great things when your friends support your success and, if your friends are not able to be positive and supportive – maybe it is time to reconsider why these people are the ones you choose to spend time with.
What if I fail?
You can not achieve your goals or become a master at a new skill if you never give it a go. Do not let the fear of failure prevent you from starting something new. We all had to learn the skills to complete the most basic things in life – getting dressed or how to make a cup of tea. There may be a number of different ways of completing these tasks and our competency at them may be easy gained or take more practice.
That is no different for any task you undertake in life. The only thing that will stop you is your own fears and not starting the new task at all. Don’t compare yourself to others. You do not really know their journey, and they needed to start from somewhere in the beginning where they too had skills that required practice and refining. So give that new venture a go. The surest way to fail is to never start at all.
We do not have all of the answers all of the time. The solution is to ask. If you are not an expert in a certain field in which you need to obtain an understanding or knowledge, find someone who is and ask them.
In the same vain, if you need help with something because you do not know how to do it, or do not have enough time to complete a task, then you are not a failure and no one will hold it against you. It is much worse to fail at something due to trying to do it on your own when you are just not able to muster up the resources, than to ask for help and possibly owe someone a favour in the future,
What if you remove the negative people from your life?
Bad and negative behaviours should not be tolerated. This means the ‘friends’ that talk behind your back or are only interested in making themselves feel better and are putting you down. Keep the people in your life that you value, and that value you. It is always good to have someone that will offer you an opinion or a different perspective, the relationship is problematic however, if you are shunned or made feel less because you did not follow their advice and make the choice they suggested.
There is no room for people in your life that are bringing you down or making you feel as though you are not enough. The people in your life will generally behave the same towards others as they do you. So if you have a friend who is always gossiping about others or judging behaviours, you can pretty much guarantee they will be doing the same about you when you are not around.
Practice your responses
If you can’t not avoid the ‘energy vampires’ in your life then you may wish to develop a good strategy and mechanism for dealing with this behaviour so you are ready. If you know your Aunty Pat is going to give you a hard time at Christmas for not being married to the wealthiest man you can find with five children in tow, then work out a simple and to the point response before you go. Practice giving your answer in the bathroom mirror and watch your reactions. It may not be this easy when that face of judgement is in front of you, but at least you are prepared.
What if I asked myself What If?
Have the courage to follow your dreams. Set goals, do not worry about pleasing others. Focus less on needing to be loved by others and put your energy into loving yourself. What if you do these things? What is the worst that can happen? What if..?
Changing your thought processes or behaviours can be challenging and difficult. If you would like some coaching on how to change these things or on how to ask yourself ‘What if?’, one of my life coaching packages may help you.